To his Daddy: "you're so cool, I feel like I have to get your autograph"

Me: Jacob, how did picture day go, did the photographer make you laugh a lot like the guy last year?

Jacob: No, he had a pony tail.

"this is a heavy lunch mom, what did you give me to eat, a brick?"

"Are you getting a headache, because this is too scary for you?"

"Daddy, I like the radio you got me but its the wrong kind. This one only speaks spanish."

"I'm going to be busier than a pig!"